The following is a short story-come-book review inspired by 'The Third Policeman' by Flann O'Brien. If you haven't read the book then don't read my account of it first, that would be daft. ******* This could well be a re-telling of an older story. One which you will likely know or at least recognise, … Continue reading Boxes, Rectangles and Bicycles
Short story
Mr Hummels introduces: The Tower of Babel by Benny Profane
As promised, I am slowly, reticently introducing you, the vast readership, to my talented friends. Doing so, I feel somewhere between Kim Jong Il and Ernest Hemingway. Make of that what you will. However, the following man needs no introduction; he's already taken the internet and some newspapers by storm. You may know him for … Continue reading Mr Hummels introduces: The Tower of Babel by Benny Profane
Fractal Protein: A cautionary tale
"Basically, I'm hoaching for a ride." said Kev. He was stood dripping in a poorly lit changing room; his back was aflame with backne, his chest stooped inward and a towel hid his banger. "Aye well yer no gonnae get a ride oan that shite. The gear makes ye fuckin' crabbit and ye cannae git … Continue reading Fractal Protein: A cautionary tale
Shed Story #3
The shed smelt of warmth. Of trapped air and micro-debris from the surrounding garden, which had lived in the carpet off-cuts of its floor for years. As summer came again, the air remained still, in the late evening unseen rays of twilight would shine through dusty glass onto the still air. A lead-topped-peaked roof barely … Continue reading Shed Story #3
The Salon
This is a true story. Tenses may have been jumbled in an effort to maintain the corporeal sense of time which one feels when attending an appointment. Moreover, I've not got the energy to edit it too much at this stage. The following takes place a quick walk from Baker Street, past the famous … Continue reading The Salon
Virgin Express to hell: Brexiteers, Privateers and Pirates form an orderly queue
I travelled, rather am travelling from London, north, to Edinburgh today on the hottest day of the year. Temperature reading from fellow passengers have topped 47 degrees. We are stopping in York shortly where the train will be hand painted with a Virgin active logo, this is now Richard Bransons flagship free moving sauna. Mr … Continue reading Virgin Express to hell: Brexiteers, Privateers and Pirates form an orderly queue
Hung Parliament Purgatory: Heaven and Hell. Whole foods and Hospitals.
So that's that. The election wrapped up dramatically to reveal exactly what we were told was going to happen had happened but in dramatic circumstances. Jeremy Corbyn has won and lost. Theresa May lost and yet still won. Assuredly the most British of elections. And while nothing will rid the shame from Theresa Mays legacy, … Continue reading Hung Parliament Purgatory: Heaven and Hell. Whole foods and Hospitals.
Shed Stories #1
Production I close the door behind me and turn inward. Literally, my sanctuary. Me. My feet face the back wall of the shed, underneath me the starkness of kitchen floors which I fitted especially. To deal with the mess. My latest subject is a real doll. She is propped in front of me on a … Continue reading Shed Stories #1
Premier League
Before I waffle about the mind control, subdued population, absurd money spent on players and poor talent identification. (All of which point to unresolved aspirations of footballing greatness.) I will put my Premier League predictions down on virtual paper. 1.Man Utd 2. Chelsea 3. Liverpool 4.Man City 5. Spurs 6.Arsenal 7.West Ham 8. Leicester 9.Southampton … Continue reading Premier League
Automatic Notoriety – A history
Most ardent readers of this most celebrated webberzine will know the illustrious history, for those who don't here is a short and dramatic overview. He looked over the whole world, eyes peering from behind a laptop, never realising what he were about to do. Thudjing away at his typeboard he spilled secrets and truth in … Continue reading Automatic Notoriety – A history
MrHummels 