“Quantity over quality is a maxim to live by.” Genghis Khan
This is really a list for my own records, when I struggle to remember my own name some kind soul can pop these on in the background as I watch the birds. You should know that on this computer there is also a fantastically long list of highbrow books, films and music – none of which I’ve read, watched or listened to – please don’t confuse these lists, it would cause too much distress.

Bad films

The Circle
Should be called the Circle jerk. Shitty all the way through.

The Man with the Iron Heart
Not sure if this was made in error and beaten to the punch by Anthropoid but it was very bad. The flashbacks seem as if they may have been filmed to be set in normal time and upon the release of the infinitely better Anthropoid, became flashbacks.

Chef
I’ve had this film on ice for a while, waiting for the perfect moment to put on something bad, I was not disappointed. Jon Favreau is a massive slimy slug.

Death of Stalin
By far the most disappointing on the list. Much like the Soviet Union, this had promise. The film lacked wit and is the second circle jerk candidate on the list as the bloated cast of Politburo members all tried to enjoy each others company on screen so much that it became like a conversation with a group of preachy vegans. From what I gather it was fairly historically accurate which saddens me more as surely it could have been funnier, Stalin was lying on the floor in his own piss after all.

Mudbound
Sigh

Anhiliation
Sigh
I’d heard so much hype about this from people who’d made tea for people who’d helped make it. It was fairly bad.

Films

Anthropoid
Already mentioned it. It was decent.

The Brothers Grimsby
Obviously this was terrible but for someone who had an awful hangover, a fondness for Britpop and a neutral stance on Sasha Baren Cohen, it was ok. Don’t ever watch it.

Life on the Road
Ricky Gervais is clearly a nob and the character David Brent shouldn’t have been resurrected. Still ok-ish.

Pumping Iron
Feel the pump. Better than cumming.

The Day of the Jackal
I’d read this was a precursor to the modern spy thriller. It wasn’t great.

Dazed and Confused
I’d been wanting to watch this for … since I started smoking the ganja, the green, the herb, mary-jane. For all I liked it, it wasn’t the goofy stoner flick I’d heard about, instead it had all these moments which could have jumped straight out of Boyhood. The observational comedy was spot on a points, as was the anti-establishment sentiment running through the film but overall it left me slightly cold. Probably because I’ve experienced lots of stuff which has ridden in its wake, but I didn’t know it. Not sure I’m overly enamored with Richard Linklater at this point.

The Hitmans Bodyguard
Hopefully this one sneaks in an nobody notices it. Quite likely saying as nobody reads this. Anyway, surprisingly well done and entertaining. Similar vein to Deadpoop.

Ghost in the Shell
Mr Hummels is a bad guy. Scarlet Johanson. Didn’t mind the glitzy glitchy sci-fi. Good for a train ride. Should she be allowed to get any roles from now on? asks Hollywood. Yes, answers Mr Hummels.

The Martian
What a load of entertainment.

Mississippi Burning
Think I saw this in history way back in the day. Some white knight shit going down but also it’s ok.

Jackie
Oooh. Ahhh. (Cantona.) Natalie Portman.

Moonlight
Good. Not what I was thinking was going to be done with the film – feel the trailer mis-sold the film somehow.

Icarus
Yeah, pretty gosh darn bad stuff really. Listen to Bill Bowder.

Good Films

A Futile and Stupid Gesture
Fuckin’ ay, it’s a doozy. Mr Hummels has been compared to Doug Kenney by MrHummels. (If only.)

The Party – (Not The Party feat. Peter Sellers but obviously that is an excellent and highly recommended film.)
This is pretty slick, wanted to dislike it but was very much won over. Better than Carnage by a longshot and had elements of other good un’s.

Blackfish
Fucked up shit, yo.

Jim and Andy
More fucked up shit, yo. Only criticism would have been good to have seen more of Andy Kaufman throughout. Interesting study of losing it a little bit.

Neon Demon
Slick as fuck.

Last Tango in Paris
This shit is raw, fam.

Weiner
Politics in a nutsack.

3 Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri
Pretty darn tooting,

Montage of Heck
Read a lot about this one and only just finished watching it now. Forgot how much I used to want to be Kurt Cobain and how much I love Nirvana. This was tender, chaotic and upsetting, a bit like the wee man himself. Something in the way he looked at the camera tells me he’d have been a Hibs fan.

 

That’ll do for now. Perhaps some more regular content soon. Perhaps not.
All my good intentions can’t keep up with life.
New job, new flat, new term = new me.
Keep your eyes peeled, the new Mr Hummels masterpiece is out in September 2030.

Mr Hummels