AGM Transcrit Mr Hummels - Introductory remarks As I've pursed over the dwindling fortunes of Mr Hummels, I've come to realise that certain things will either happen, or as the case may be, they won't. Equally, it can be said that certain things will happen when you think that they won't, or won't happen when … Continue reading AGM Transcript: Coronavirus (Covid-19) and San Jose del Pacifico Trip Report
humour
10 traumas of Mr Hummels
Control issues - Stemming from an over-protective childhood. (Transference.) Lack of drive - Stemming from a disciplined childhood. (Resistance) Delusional - Mainly of grandeur (see 5,6,8) or personal assault (see 4). Victimhood - Relating to negative self image, consider the worst conclusion first. Loss - Stemming from a number of incidents, each of which contributed … Continue reading 10 traumas of Mr Hummels
Mr Hummels introduces: The Tower of Babel by Benny Profane
As promised, I am slowly, reticently introducing you, the vast readership, to my talented friends. Doing so, I feel somewhere between Kim Jong Il and Ernest Hemingway. Make of that what you will. However, the following man needs no introduction; he's already taken the internet and some newspapers by storm. You may know him for … Continue reading Mr Hummels introduces: The Tower of Babel by Benny Profane
Fractal Protein: A cautionary tale
"Basically, I'm hoaching for a ride." said Kev. He was stood dripping in a poorly lit changing room; his back was aflame with backne, his chest stooped inward and a towel hid his banger. "Aye well yer no gonnae get a ride oan that shite. The gear makes ye fuckin' crabbit and ye cannae git … Continue reading Fractal Protein: A cautionary tale
Ten Tips for Tube Travel!
Walking slower than everyone else during rush hour - watch the people envelope you like a school of fish and a shark. Walk against the direction of the train as you alight - look everyone in the eye. Peer deep into their souls. Loiter when alighting, there is every chance you will be left alone … Continue reading Ten Tips for Tube Travel!
Positive Feedback
I keep approaching this and then shirking away. Like a married couple after too long. Long live the soft, withered, dry remains of Mr Hummels. Every time I do write something it ends up being the fragment of a poem which you didn't want to read on social media. Frankly there is too much happening. … Continue reading Positive Feedback
On Aesthetics, Creativity, Social Media and the music of Lists.
Listening to Lists is something I've rarely experienced with art, not something I've not felt before, but something rare. I can tell you I felt the same thing when I saw Mulholland drive or heard nude by Radiohead, it was something that was somehow tailored not just for me, but for the moment around me. … Continue reading On Aesthetics, Creativity, Social Media and the music of Lists.
The day Darren streaked.
It might not impress you as it did me. The day he ran out in front of the team. He was fat and hairy and everyone was there. Darren was naked, but he didn't care. An annual event, to which we'd all gather, and watch as the teams bathed in mud and chased bladder. He … Continue reading The day Darren streaked.
Shed Story #3
The shed smelt of warmth. Of trapped air and micro-debris from the surrounding garden, which had lived in the carpet off-cuts of its floor for years. As summer came again, the air remained still, in the late evening unseen rays of twilight would shine through dusty glass onto the still air. A lead-topped-peaked roof barely … Continue reading Shed Story #3
Dear Spotify,
This may come as something of a surprise but I some things I would like to get off of my chest. I have been a subscriber to your services for some time now - more recently I have come to question our relationship. It took me some time to subscribe to your services however I … Continue reading Dear Spotify,
MrHummels 