His eyes adjusted to the darkness slowly, coming in from the bright summer light. Goosebumps flared up over the tattoo of an egg on his forearm and his pupil dilated, but neither in the way they had last night. Cool air which had belonged in there for decades filled his damaged lungs and caught him … Continue reading Matinee
Short Story
And you thought you had it bad…
As the world veers towards Nuclear or climate annihilation I want to let it be known that Mr Hummels had a rotten sequence of events happen to him. But that won't keep him down. Mr Hummels is writing this for posterity's sake. The creative act, in this instance, writing, is a futile one. To write … Continue reading And you thought you had it bad…
Welcome back, Mr Hummels!
After a brief respite, there was little else we could do other than invite him back. There is something here which smells like the unwanted new movie franchise, Mr Hummels strikes again. Mr Hummels rides! Mr Hummels goes hard. Wheeled out like an old veteran, except that we still demand active service. Also, veterans offer poignant … Continue reading Welcome back, Mr Hummels!
Boxes, Rectangles and Bicycles
The following is a short story-come-book review inspired by 'The Third Policeman' by Flann O'Brien. If you haven't read the book then don't read my account of it first, that would be daft. ******* This could well be a re-telling of an older story. One which you will likely know or at least recognise, … Continue reading Boxes, Rectangles and Bicycles
Mr Hummels introduces: The Tower of Babel by Benny Profane
As promised, I am slowly, reticently introducing you, the vast readership, to my talented friends. Doing so, I feel somewhere between Kim Jong Il and Ernest Hemingway. Make of that what you will. However, the following man needs no introduction; he's already taken the internet and some newspapers by storm. You may know him for … Continue reading Mr Hummels introduces: The Tower of Babel by Benny Profane
Fractal Protein: A cautionary tale
"Basically, I'm hoaching for a ride." said Kev. He was stood dripping in a poorly lit changing room; his back was aflame with backne, his chest stooped inward and a towel hid his banger. "Aye well yer no gonnae get a ride oan that shite. The gear makes ye fuckin' crabbit and ye cannae git … Continue reading Fractal Protein: A cautionary tale
Shed Story #3
The shed smelt of warmth. Of trapped air and micro-debris from the surrounding garden, which had lived in the carpet off-cuts of its floor for years. As summer came again, the air remained still, in the late evening unseen rays of twilight would shine through dusty glass onto the still air. A lead-topped-peaked roof barely … Continue reading Shed Story #3
The Salon
This is a true story. Tenses may have been jumbled in an effort to maintain the corporeal sense of time which one feels when attending an appointment. Moreover, I've not got the energy to edit it too much at this stage. The following takes place a quick walk from Baker Street, past the famous … Continue reading The Salon
Virgin Express to hell: Brexiteers, Privateers and Pirates form an orderly queue
I travelled, rather am travelling from London, north, to Edinburgh today on the hottest day of the year. Temperature reading from fellow passengers have topped 47 degrees. We are stopping in York shortly where the train will be hand painted with a Virgin active logo, this is now Richard Bransons flagship free moving sauna. Mr … Continue reading Virgin Express to hell: Brexiteers, Privateers and Pirates form an orderly queue
Hung Parliament Purgatory: Heaven and Hell. Whole foods and Hospitals.
So that's that. The election wrapped up dramatically to reveal exactly what we were told was going to happen had happened but in dramatic circumstances. Jeremy Corbyn has won and lost. Theresa May lost and yet still won. Assuredly the most British of elections. And while nothing will rid the shame from Theresa Mays legacy, … Continue reading Hung Parliament Purgatory: Heaven and Hell. Whole foods and Hospitals.
MrHummels 