This marks the first of a series of interviews which may or may not happen. This, the first, comprises of Mr Hummels, synonymous editor at large of soon to be global MrHummels.com (Formerly or still MrHummels.wordpress.com) grilling the future Mr Hummels who is endowed with contentment, fulfillment and success. The interview is meta as fuck and quite personal.

Mr Hummels: “So, glad you could make it to the as yet unrealised future.”
Mr Hummels: “Thanks, I’m glad you could be here. No small feat.”
Mr Hummels: “No problem, I’d like to begin, if you wouldn’t mind, by discussing the period in which you begin your prolific life, that is indeed – now. Would you be able to discuss that period and the time leading upto it?
Mr Hummels: ” Certainly… Well, it was a strange time for me, I suppose. I’d just started a masters in Social and Political Theory and was fascinated by the subject matter and by being re-immersed in the learning environment again. I had just gone through some type of strange crisis which was in some respects over, yet in others unresolved…
MrHummels: “Ah yes, that of your future? You mention it in the bestselling works you were never to write?”
MrHummels: “Yes that is quite correct, my future and I suppose in many aspects my hopes and dreams too. This Masters I’d taken to studying had equipped me with a new set of skills and a new way of thinking however I still felt unresolved creatively. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly how this was to be overcome but without sounding smug, it clearly did.”
MrHummels: ” That does sound smug. In the memoirs you didn’t write and if you did, nobody would care to read, you mention how you’d lived in fear and allowed this to be the default setting when you thought creatively?”
MrHummels: “Yes in some respects, fear doesn’t account for cowardice though, it was a mixture of both. I was transformed by meeting my partner, I can’t say why, perhaps I was galvanized by the acceptance?”
MrHummels: “Perhaps, in the book which you probably don’t write and in the memoirs you display a complicated relationship with your father?
MrHummels: “Quite so, I spent a lot of my formative years trying to please him and then rebelling against him. We’re very alike in a lot of senses, I occasionally got the feeling he’d tried let me realise this clear brilliance myself and didn’t ever choose to push me in one direction. A vicariousness which was doomed to failure.”
MrHummels: ” I see, perhaps that explains why you felt this galvanizing sensation?”
MrHummels: “Definitely, the acceptance was and is something I value hugely.”
MrHummels: “Could it have led to your clear complacency also?”
MrHummels: “It could have but that is a personal flaw, I’m lazy. I don’t have the voice in my head, the protestant work ethic, telling me to create, create, create. It’s hard to flip the switch from consumer to producer. I’m not suggesting I’m a creative proletariat for an instant, I am however lazy. And, quite badly organised. One must have capital, perhaps I’m just contented.”
MrHummels: “You’ve spoken there of your personal flaws…?”
MrHummels: “Yes, I have a few, there are some who suggest I’ve got delusions of grandeur. I don’t know where they get that notion. I’m partial to blaming others for my shortcomings and I’m bad on myself occasionally. But equally, I don’t suppose I’m blameless. I remember, during around my second year in my undergraduate degree, I had this strange feeling that things weren’t panning out as they were supposed to. I was supposed to have met a band of fellow Pythons and having a whale of time and becoming quite successful doing so. I had a sort of resentment for my friends because we seemed to be quite useless. We just drank a lot and smoked a lot of weed. Of course the reverse of that is that I didn’t ever hunt down the opportunity for myself, if that’s what I truly wanted. Looking back, I’m not sure it is.”
Mr Hummels: “I see, is that the same for football then?”
Mr Hummels: “No, that’s where I’d draw a line. Sport in general was something I was serious about, I tried hard at and it didn’t work for one reason or another. I loved Basketball but lived in a rural community – in Scotland. The football could have gone further certainly but the opportunity didn’t come at the right time and then my body failed me, again in later life it started to fall apart.”
MrHummels: “That was around the same time you started the Masters?”
MrHummels: “It was, something about having that taken out of my life and studying Social sciences led me here. I’d suddenly understood community and people better than before. Part of me was still scared by it all and I spent most of my time in a flat in London watching questionable videos, but I felt more connected – to friends, family, everything. Perhaps it was just age dawning on me, it’s hard to say.”
MrHummels: “You mentioned your rural life earlier, do you think that paid a part?”
MrHummels: “Certainly, I’d made a quite conscious decision to live without feelings or moods, replicating the characters I’d seen around the borders. Which of course made me quite unwell and was quite a hard thing to break. I grew up in a community which was alienated geographically and mentally, the masculine farmers fetishized commodities with the best of them. I was to be an individual… When I fell out with my friends, I must have been around 13 or so, I became quite depressed. The hormones of the teen mixed with this overbearing masculinity and a general alienation. I was convinced that I was there on my own.”
MrHummels: “That is some heavy shit future me, where are you at now?”
MrHummels: “Well, in the words of the Beatles, I am here and you are there and we are all together. I’m good, I’ve come to see the interconnections of it all. I’m hopefully able to deal with that mental illness aspect of life a bit better. Around the time which you mentioned earlier, when I began studying for my Masters – which I hope I completed – I was still not ready to reach out creatively, though it was happening. But the thought had occurred to me and I was trying to let myself go. It’s not easy though, I’ll say that to anyone who is me and is you.”
MrHummels: “Of course not, it seems that creative visions was one of your earlier visions that almost materialised?”
MrHummels: “Yes, I think with that and football I’d come so close, I’d been wrapped up in a life with friends who were the funniest in the world and we all shared the dream of Hollywood etc. There in an inevitability that the one time best friend who I fell out with was to reach Hollywood of course, that made me reflect on the situation endlessly. Thankfully I didn’t have a friend who’d become a footballer or I think I’d have been a goner.”
MrHummels: “Well thank god for that…”
MrHummels: “Yes, I suppose, I hadn’t considered exactly that before but I’ve lived a hell of life. One which I should and may have committed to writing in various forms.”
MrHummels: “I’m not sure you did, but that’s not important. The important thing is that you had a life which you enjoyed and you got over that touchy feely stuff. Shame you’re going to die though.”
MrHummels: “Yes, but we’re all going to die.”