So, I’ve failed you already.
The intention to cover this parade daily is not easy or interesting. So I’ve decided to do it as and when I feel compelled, meaning this will likely be the last post in human history as Nuclear war brews in the South China sea. This pleases me as not only will the customers who I’ve sent to the area get top notch service and prices, they will be wiped out instantaneously rather than suffer the slow and inevitable fallout we will be party to. Whether there is an nuclear war or things trundle on as normal and we get our lovely hard brexitting or a damned good snappy election.  Both options are beginning to sound like the perversions of your dismissed head teacher. And in reality both options are being acted out by a mis-guided head who seems perverted.

Anyway, in a week which saw Labour candidates stand down, seemingly because they weren’t going to win, I’ve been rather underwhelmed by the election build up. The whole thing started with a bang and then fizzled out. Rather like this simile.
Is there not a flaw in the logic of candidates who stand down because they aren’t going to win? I’m sure that hasn’t been said before in the last couple of years with regards to Labour Mps who seem completely adverse to competition. Jeremy Corbyns second policy announcement is that the crown of world football, and English sports largest export The Premier League will be known as the handshake gang as soon as he takes control. His first policy announcement was that under his Premiership  Equalship, all policies will be equal and no policies will be numbered.

Corbyn has not ruled out a multi-party pact but then why would he.
Others in his party have however and the surest way to defeat Skeletor has been stopped before it got started. Incidentally, how can Skeletor preach Chaos? Whether it be in a coalition or not… Look at the state of things.

Meanwhile the Tory expenses scandal which has been completely ignored has been completely ignored. No Tory MP’s spent more than they were supposed to. This had no effect on the last election and will have no effect on the current one as Labour are such a mess. I think that is the official party line. If it isn’t there is a good chance I’ll be taken North to the gulags of Newcastle and Sunderland to prepare for the wars with Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Apparently Lib Dem have had a surge in voters.
Or Tim Farron likes gay people having sex? I don’t think that is important when there is election on our hands!

All of this seemingly added to the never ending woe of life and my hangover on Sunday and I went down to Speakers Corner to be refreshed by democracy in action. What I saw was a 3d facebook and further evidence that we are doomed as people who I assume were holograms shouted ridiculous views at each other from ladders.

Come Armageddon, come!
Dear Mr Trump,
I enjoyed your previous work pleas would you now pledge to Make Nuclear wasteland, nuclear waste again. Only you can save us.

Mr Hummels