“Just blend in, mate.”

That is the best, most poignant advice I have been given, possibly ever, and I got it from a man who had determined to talk to every shopper in the Campden Lidl. The man in question was being generally ignored, his un-kept, full and droopy beard did enough to put people off before they noticed his dirty clothes, teetering height and glint of possible madness. I try to smirk knowingly at his remark but the impatient queues behind me give me away as a foreigner, or at least that’s what I think. It doesn’t matter anyway as he is off muttering suspiciously to a girl with headphones on. It is easy to assume he is clinically fed up and it is unfortunate that no-one will interact with him meaningfully however there is always a chance that he is a pervert. This judgement, or rather the refrain of making judgement, is something which would appear to be part of city life.

As you may have worked out the consciousness and perspective of Mr Hummels has been sculpted in a Scottish rural setting over many years. Since moving to London, this perspective has been dutifully adjusted in the following ways.

1. Mr Hummels is more aware. This pertains to Mr Hummels recognition of the fact that everyone is different.

2. Mr Hummels has a growing sense of empathy. When thinking of others Mr Hummels can recognize emotions in others and understand and relate to them.

3. Mr Hummels is more self-aware. Mr Hummels understands himself better in relation to the broad spectrum of other human beings.

We will now consider why these changes may have occurred.

London is an exceptionally diverse place where people are forced to live in close proximity. This culture clash results in people of all opinions and extractions mingling. While you may not agree with the people you are mingling with on grounds of politics, religion etc. there is an unmistakably human quality to every human ( barring, of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger). These human qualities however masked by the busyness city life are what bind us together. This, and the force of nature that is, British Politeness.

British Politeness is a code of conduct which must be adhered too. It is the second social contract which permeates London life. You may be a human but you are not a human human until you are polite. (Barring, of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger who is always polite.) This contract has been enforced by stern looks, lack of physical contact and constant apologies. A social experiment whose genius cannot be denied when you meet the friendly Londoners who abide in this fair smoggy old town. Of course there are those who wish for meaningful interactions and compassion and if they want it they can have it but they better be ready to be met with curtness. Curtness like you wouldn’t believe.

The increased empathy felt by Mr Hummels may be explained by two factors; the first that this has been gradually happening anyway, and the second, that as there are more people nearby, there are more people to empathize with. This thawing of the ice is a consequence of rural Scottish politeness. Which is in actual fact, impoliteness. Thinly veiled judgemental insults are a specialty. The farmer class of which this rural subsect is made up of is good at this type of judgement partly because of its homogeneous nature. Now the mix of the cultures via the internet, the shrinking of the world and the slow death and decline of the rural world have resulted in many Mr Hummels type individuals emerging. The drip feed of tragic news has existed since childhood however it now resonates as real stories, I now react appropriately. I imagine this same process has happened across many of my school class for example (I can imagine that some remain ignorant and rancid, however). Perhaps, Mr Hummels will soon be a fully fledged emotional being. All this could be attributed to the process of growing up and accountability. Having to pay the rent, your girlfriend coming off the pill, that type of hardcore, straight up, adult shit. The creeping in of consequence.

Of course, as always, this is the perspective of Mr Hummels and it its rambling, inconclusive nature goes someway to describe Mr Hummels. As previously mentioned Mr Hummels is a Z-list Countryside Times thinker, someone who washes dishes of the countryside sub-sub-elite. His particular extraction, that of the country will also allow us to understand more about London and the conclusions brought to us above.
When living in the Country, Mr Hummels has been surrounded by family and friends, his visits to Edinburgh similarly have been to meet with friends and have fun.
Since moving to London, Mr Hummels has been largely alone in the big city. Not yet has he had a moment to visit friends. Not yet has he got a job whereby he would make friends. Moreover, the hectic ritual of moving onto a flat has been largely lonesome as his girlfriend has began university. This has resulted in a cabin fever situation. The previously mentioned meaningful interactions have been rare also as Mr Hummels area of London is a little bit isolated. Beautiful, but isolated. Alone in the big city. The area in question is full of useless and expensive boutique shops. Yesterday however, Mr Hummels retrieved his bicycle from Kings Cross and took in Campden and felt the city shrink beneath his wheels. Exploration became fun again.

To conclude, the experiences and perspectives of Mr Hummels are ever changing. While the researchers suggest that the recent notable changes could be attributed to ol’ London town and the way of living there, results are inconclusive. Further research should consist of a randomized double blind face off style test. The researchers can conclude that the human experience is varied and interesting.

Short, however.

Mr Hummels